I’m at a turning point, or a moving forward point. The book I’ve been writing based on this blog is nearly finished. Fitting, because I’m back in Kansas and my life is a little like summer break before the final semester of college begins. At some point soon, I’ll be moving on and hopefully I’ll be prepared for whatever comes next. The last time, when I graduated from Kansas University, I wasn’t prepared for what came next.
Sure, I was young, excited, and unafraid, but I was unprepared. Nobody told me that my grace period would end. Satan knew I would be alone when I left for Nashville and “bigger things,” and more importantly, that I had areas of weakness that could be exploited. And boy did this kid get exploited!
It’s a typically hot (102 degree) day in July in Kansas. The fall is coming but it’s still a few weeks off. For now, the heat will be reason enough to sit inside bedrooms and coffee houses gazing outside at the full green leafed, wind blown tree limbs. Time doesn’t stop, of course, even though the heat sustained by the rough, southerly winds tires the body while encouraging sleep or reflection.
I’ve lost a lot in the last five years, my career, my house, my savings, my retirement but not my faith. I’m past the point of wondering whether I’m being punished for some unknown sin. This is life. This is my life. The man sitting here just inside the window of a Topeka coffeehouse is indeed older and wiser than the younger man who left to take on the world years ago.
This is life. The brief interlude will end, and I will move forward into the next phase with all its trials and opportunities. I want to be ready for two things, whatever I’m called to do, and also prepared to move forward with a sober recognition of my weaknesses. I will not be played again by either life or evil.
Yes, this brief interlude is a chance to rest and lick my wounds, but if I’m not stronger when I return to the war than when I originally entered it, I will be no better off. I must get stronger, stronger than I have ever been. Fortunately, now I know how. Keep in the Word, keep being grateful (even when I don’t necessarily feel it), pray, and put others ahead of myself. A game plan for withstanding trials but more than that, succeeding for myself and others in the name of a God who stuck with me throughout it all and will continue to do so no matter how well or bad I do at any given moment.