A month ago, I decided to go home. A lot of us do that at some point in our lives. I’m sure a psychologist somewhere has called it “the Prodigal Son Syndrome.” An irresistible pull toward familiar surroundings from a more simple time and the family and friends that we grew up with but left behind for greener pastures.
I think that definitely played a part in the decision. And from a career standpoint, well, there was no career worth pursuing anyway so why not go home? Being around family and old friends has lived up to its billing, and I’m certainly glad that I did, though I have no idea how long this time will last.
The line I wrote above reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend just before I left to return home. I wasn’t going home to “find myself.” I know who I am. I wasn’t giving up, either, which was a reason I hadn’t moved home earlier. It felt like a step I needed to take. I remembered a song, which had a line that went something like this “sometimes going home feels like moving on.”
The conversation got me to think a little deeper. I originally left Kansas for Nashville coming off an amazing period of restored faith and covering/ protection provided by the grace of God. What I didn’t know at the time is that I was naïve and unready for the challenges I was about to endure. “I’ve been through the wars and have the scars to prove it.”
I know who I am, and I know who I need to be: the adult version of that kid who left for Nashville wanting to make the world a better place. I’m less sure now of what I’ve been called to do, but at least I know who I’ve been called to be. I don’t know what will come in the future, but my faith remains strong, and I can rest, yes rest, assured “that those who rest upon the Lord will renew their strength (Isaiah 40:31).”