I like to read through the Bible in different ways. Sometimes, I’ll read my favorite passages, ie Psalm 23, Isaiah 52:13- 53, John 1:1-14, Philippians 4:4-8 to name a few. Other times, I’ll read the four gospels, other times the Gospel of Luke followed by The Acts, etc. Lately, I’ve been working through the New Testament only reading the words of Christ. I finished today with His words in the book of Revelation. In chapter 3 he chides the church in Laodicea for being “too comfortable.” A warning follows, “I will spit you out” for being neither hot nor cold.
I hate rereading this passage because it hits me where I live. I’m haunted by a sense of waste. Am I really “about the Lord’s business?” Consistently? No, not really. This verse speaks to larger issues like letting the cares of the world chip away at my resolve until the Apathy monster rears its ugly head. Another 70 hour work week blows by (or blows me away), and I’m too worn out to fight to find personal time with J let alone find the time to read the Word, let alone study the Word.
At the end of a long and frustrating day or week, I can’t find the desire, let alone the resolve to resist the Apathy monster, so I let him win for the night or the week or the month. And I know it’s just a cop out on my part. I can ignore evil but evil will not ignore me. Every time I give up an hour or an evening or a day to Apathy, it’s more of him and less of me in my life. It becomes harder to answer the call of “wake up, o sleeper” to do whatever it is I’m called to do. Jonah was literally spit out of the whale for running away from what God had called him to do. I don’t want to be “spit out.”
The problem, I’ve found, is that the Apathy monster gets heavier the longer I let him feed on me. He becomes harder to resist, let alone defeat. It’s like trying to lift a heavy box and thrust it onto the shelf far above my head. And yet, I have to do just that. The good news is that I’ve done it before, and I can do it again, even though there is a voice whispering somewhere nearby, “that was when you were younger. That was when you were stronger. Look at you now.”
There is a weapon that I’ve used before, it’s called “stubbornness.” That part of me that refuses to “get played,” as it were, by someone or something else. That’s the “hot” part of me that can be an asset rather than a hindrance as I try to regain that sense of purpose and urgency that I need to be “about the business,” whether I feel up to it or no.