These days, I barely have the time to think, pray, dream, relax, or anything else that makes my life feel meaningful. It’s times like these when life seems so repetitious and each new day looks like the previous one and tomorrow looks like today, looking like yesterday that a fog seems to envelop me. Forget the forest for the trees, I want to see more than just the few feet in front of me. I’ve gone through times like these before and J has always “released me” in what seemed like a miraculous moment. Of course, the above statement isn’t totally true, I know it’s a matter of finding time in the middle of the mental and spiritual oppression to seek out J, or more rather, see where he is in the fog. Because he is there.
Yes, there is a formula, so to speak: prayer, time in the Word, fellowship, and somehow remembering to “rejoice in the day that the Lord has made” even or especially when I don’t feel like I am able. But it isn’t magic. It isn’t just Satan that likes worn out, ineffective Christians, the world does, too. However, there is a weapon I’ve found, possibly part of what CS Lewis meant by the “deeper magic,” in the “Chronicles of Narnia” series of books, that has been given to me. J broke life down into two simple commands, the second of which he mentions several times, “love your neighbor as yourself.”
J’s command, when I apply it in my life, gives me less to time to wallow in my own frustrations and grief. It’s a hard weapon to pick up and wield when I can’t see very far in front of me, but when I fight back I ultimately feel better about myself. And that is sufficient for the day.